Her first wave quarantine against the spread of the coronavirus left a tragic toll of around 180 dead (beginning of June) and serious economic impacts, but for the majority of Greeks it also left an unprecedented sweet experience: that of returning to "familiar", of reuniting the whole family, of the shared, quality time that gave many the opportunity to deal with interests they had neglected for a long time, to take care of themselves, but also their people.

Then came the summer, the measures relaxed and the people with them, this unfortunately brought an increase in cases and deaths, and as autumn and the return to routine approached, the voices of scientists for vigilance grew louder. Schools opened, a week later than originally predicted and with unprecedented measures for students: Mandatory use of masks inside the often suffocating classrooms and distances between children, with the aim of limiting as much as possible dispersion in the school community. And almost at the same time, Pandora's Box was opened.

The sympathy and solidarity that seemed to characterize Greek citizens during the first season of #MenoumeSpiti, mutated in just a few days into division and conflicts between those who stand for and against the use of masks. We have seen parents, who until recently consulted Professor Tsiodras' suggestions, now question not only the Greek infectious disease experts but even the global scientific community and - the worst - do not hesitate even to commit violence, reacting to the imposition of the new measures which, clearly no one likes them, but according to the common confession of 99% of the planet's scientists, their sole objective is to protect us from an extremely serious disease that has killed 350 of our fellow citizens to date.

We have wondered many times what is going on in the minds of these people, especially the parents who react in such a way to the measures against the pandemic, we certainly also wondered what effects the second wave of this will have on our mental health (and especially our children) and the possibility of a new lockdown and finally we sought the golden advice of the Child Psychiatrist and Psychotherapist, specializing in family issues, professor Dimitris Karagiannis, whom we had the opportunity to meet in his office, at the Child Mental Health Center.

What did the first wave of the pandemic leave for Greek children?

"During the quarantine of last spring there was difficulty for most Greek families, but there was also an opportunity for people to see the positives of all this - an overcoming" Mr. Karagiannis tells us. He emphasizes, of course, that while most children experienced that period smoothly and even pleasantly, teenagers resorted to the internet and "were locked into this fantasy world to a degree of dependence, which we unfortunately predict will have repercussions in the future, especially in cases where the presence of parents and family was limited."

The 5 reasons parents refuse to impose the new measures

But what happened next? How did the ups and downs in the attitude of many citizens come about? According to the child psychiatrist, there are not one but many factors that lead countless parents to refuse the imposition of the new measures for their children:

“First of all it is a psychopathological denial mechanism, which occurs in a large part of the population, which sees the danger and in order not to face it denies its existence. It is a mechanism that is activated in man in moments of mourning or loss: He refuses to accept what hurts him."

Mr. Karagiannis explains to us that even in the first wave of the pandemic, the people experiencing the above denial reacted negatively, but due to the very strict measures and the overall Lockdown, they had no room to proceed with the manifestation of this denial - now they can.

"The second factor has to do with the fact that our times are changing in ways that large groups of the population cannot keep up with. Right now we have entered another culture that we cannot pretend not to see: Digitality in all its forms is changing not only the context in which we live, but also ourselves in the way we exist. Now it is a part of us, through the mobile phone, the tablet, the computer, etc. And we participate in these changes, whether we know it or not. However, there is a large percentage of those who cannot "enter" this situation and perceive it as an invasion of their lives. As if something comes from outside that they did not imagine and this 'from outside' leads them to lose their face. So, these people may be friendly and humane to their own people, but they have a paranoid attitude towards anything foreign that comes and invades their lives, that's why e.g. they associate the coronavirus vaccine with things that do not stand, e.g. with 5G. These connections seem ridiculous, but we can understand them if we look at how these large population groups of different often ideological orientations think. These are often people who are even educated, but stuck in the past - it is not a mental process but an emotional state. I agree that the past should not be lost, but we cannot be stuck in it. It is wrong to miss the past, because in essence the past is our childhood - we cannot be children again and be carefree. We have to enter the new situations."

As a third factor, Mr. Karagiannis mentions delayed adolescent reaction: "As teenagers react to parents, some once 'good kids' who didn't react as teenagers now feel important by fighting the windmills, making their own revolution—a revolution they didn't make when they should have."

Another factor that leads to these reactions is Mediterranean temperament of our people: "For Greeks, facial expression is very important. We want to be faces and not masks. We want to communicate our expressions. This difficulty of ours, however, with masks is something that should help us realize that we wear the mask not because we like it, but because we want to exist even after some months when the mask will not be needed. We long to be without masks again, so we must understand that our enemy is not the mask but the virus. We don't wear a mask to hide from each other, but to make sure we continue to exist."

Finally, the expert refers to the category of child-centered families: "It's the mothers who will go and argue with their child's classmate, because e.g. pushed him, they are all those who think they are protecting their child, but in reality they are stealing it. These parents need to understand one thing: Children are NOT poor. They need care NOT protection. Mental toughness doesn't thrive in hothouses. If we start looking at children as poor, then they will become poor. It is no accident that little boys who were once over-cared for by their mothers are 'fallen princes' today and cannot be romantic towards their partner because they are asking her to take care of them. Likewise for girls who grow up as 'dollhouse dolls', constantly asking their dad for care.

I was very impressed by the images of children whose parents refused to enter school wearing a mask. They had a sad expression, they were in pain, they were not happy, they were not proud of their parents who protected them, not only because of social reasons, but also because they were deprived of the opportunity to participate in school with other children. This year there were children who longed to go to school. And this is what the parents steal from these children. They sacrifice their child in the name of their ideology, in the name of their good child."

What effect does this parental behavior have on their children? "These children will either believe the parent's narrative, that disaster is coming from everywhere, or they will question and come into conflict with their parents and stop trusting them. Furthermore, if the children accept this situation they will be 'poor'. They won't feel as important as the others. My experience of children who experience earthquakes and natural disasters says that those who participated to the best of their ability in the needs of the local community then, are the ones who came out stronger, compared to those who were protected and showed phobias. So there is a chance that these children of today will develop phobias as they grow in society."

Mr. Karagiannis continues: “By what right do we want to protect the child from the mask? Should we put burqas on parents who have their faces down? Shouldn't they just cover their mouths, but also their eyes, when they look at their child with a look of disappointment, bitterness, pain, discomfort, as if they don't trust him, as if they don't believe in him? At the time they declare that they are going to protect it, do they realize how much toxicity they are putting in? The vaccine is very important in viruses because it trusts the defense mechanism of people. We have the same thing with the mental course of our children. We put them face to face with the small difficulties, so that they can cope now, so that - like a vaccine - they can cope later with the real difficulties of life".

Let the mask be recorded as children's participation in society

In contrast to treating the mask as a measure that encroaches on their rights, Mr. Karagiannis suggests that today's children consider it as a means of participating in the good of society. "We tend to say that today's children, with their engagement with social media and their desire every now and then for Likes, display a narcissistic behavior in which they are only interested in their own promotion. Wearing a mask is an opportunity for children to escape from this behavior, to learn to participate in the care of the family, the group, etc. Grandmothers, grandfathers, great parents are not people who exist in our lives only to provide for us. They want both our care and our thanks. We do not ask the children to show it by submitting (as in the past), but with an attitude of life through which they themselves will understand that they are participating in something good."

The coronavirus gives our children an amazing opportunity: To take a Life Pledge

Concluding our conversation with Mr. Karagiannis, we look for a ray of light in the gloomy landscape that continues to evolve in front of us: "At a time when many refuse the mask and denounce it as a gag, we are given a unique opportunity: On the occasion of the coronavirus, let's talk to our children, with words always appropriate for their age, about illness-death issues, not in a frightening way as a threat to their lives, but as knowledge and information, that there is also this element in our life. Thus, we will give the children an 'existential vaccine' on how to give meaning to their lives. It is very important that children take a Life Pledge from a very early age. The life vows we took in difficult situations are what save us for the rest of our adult lives. So, let the parents talk to their children about the important issues of life which will not only be the jacket and healthy food, but also the value system that will allow their life to be not just a survival, but a ground where they will be able to leave their mark. These children will have a valuable element in their lives, if their parents can not lose their gaze: A gaze that will embrace, highlight, caress and tell the child that you are unique and have the potential to become unique' – the look that enhances strengths and skills that do not exist today only in potential.”

In the possibility of a new lockdown, Mr. Karagiannis recalls the words of Professor Tsiodras saying "step by step" and explains to us that it is a period in which we do make plans for the future, but we focus on not losing the present. "What we should aim for now is, after a year, not to have forgotten and to have gained from any difficulty that may have arisen, financial, social, health etc. This concerns me: The meaning of our experience. Because we choose each time what will remain. And the most important thing is that our processed memory remains, not the grumbling about the difficulties but the strength that we made it through. Only in this way, the generation of the children of the mask will be the one that will rule us with a vision with a soul and a face".

And what about school? How are children and especially teenagers and seniors affected by disruption in the school environment? "The attitude of parents is wrong when they worry about the wrong things. Today, the choice of profession does not end with the school one enters. We will change at least 7 attitudes to our work while we are alive and creative. The point is not to force teenagers to read and get grades, but to get them to be alive and creative! The goal is for the children to learn that we don't give up. And they learn this only when they see their own parents not giving up".