“What materials is your Paradise made of?”

Eleni Karagianni, psychiatrist - existential psychotherapist - trainer and supervisor of psychotherapists, speaks to "Peloponnisso" and Kristy Kouninioti about valuable interpersonal relationships, the traumatic experiences of parents/children, and loss, on the occasion of her book "Right to Paradise".

Eleni Karagianni gave a speech in Patras, specifically at "Byzantino", yesterday. guest of the Dental Association and the "Book Corner" on the occasion of her book "Right to Paradise" (published by Armos). The psychiatrist, existential psychotherapist, trainer and supervisor of psychotherapists speaks to "P" about valuable interpersonal relationships, the traumatic experiences of parents/children, loss, emphasizing that "despite the frustrations and difficulties of life, there can be progress."

Ελένη Καραγιάννη

How did the 18 stories, where psychology and literature meet, come about, and what is your bet?
My stories arose from a desire to share the certainty I have gained from working therapeutically with people, that despite the frustrations and difficulties of life, there can be progress. I wanted to emphasize on the one hand the valuable inner processes, on the other hand the eternal enrichment that interpersonal relationships bring. In the psychotherapist's office, most of the tears, but also the happiest smiles, concern issues of love that is frustrated or blossoming.

"Paradise is people and interpersonal relationships," you write. What would you say is the first key, out of many, to begin opening the door to Paradise?
I am referring to a Paradise that is not given, but is constantly earned. The first key is precisely the awareness: that others are valuable, that without functional relationships man cannot know himself, nor become happy. This leads to the next step, which is the assumption of personal responsibility: The movement from a passive perception of a Paradise as a reward, to a Paradise that is co-constructed with others.

The 8-year-old "Lone Wolf" chooses silence as a shield, due to his traumatic experiences, experiences that his mother had also experienced because of hers. Your advice to new parents to avoid such mistakes?
It is a shocking moment when the traumatic experiences of the two generations are connected. At first, it seems as if destiny condemns and there is no escape. It seems like psychological DNA with enormous power. But when the intergenerational trauma from unconscious becomes conscious, new choices timidly begin to emerge, leaving room for hope. In my story, the mother, with the courage to take responsibility, instead of falling into the eyes of the child, becomes a symbol of recovery and redemptive change.

Why does the truth scare us, as happens with the heroine in the short story "Defenseless"?
In the short story “Defenseless,” the revelation of the truth of the adoption creates cracks in the edifice that the heroine has built for herself. This particular truth, because it concerns the crucial secret of her life, requires painful processing. At the same time, because the adoptive parents have concealed the secret, the truth seems more frightening and their credibility is questioned. When parents are called upon to reveal any truth concerning their child, they are called upon to be present and supportive in its processing.

And how can loss and separation work to make us stronger?
Loss and separation are inevitable events in life and reconcile us with the change and transitional phases of life. A necessary condition for every new opening is the closure of the previous phase. Otherwise, everything remains pending and life experiences are not metabolized, not utilized. Loss reminds us of the ephemerality of existence and calls us to utilize the precious present.

From your many years of experience as a psychotherapist, do you believe that the conditions-obstacles to Paradise have increased in recent years or not compared to the past?
It is certain that human relationships have become more demanding today. In our era when autonomy and freedom are the highest goods, when we constantly seek change and the new, investing in long-term relationships seems difficult, as it requires commitment and care. But in the end, we understand how important in life the combination of freedom and the feeling of "belonging" is.

What materials is your Paradise made of?
From powerful moments of meaningful soul sharing with my loved ones. From personal transcendences. From the joy of having contributed to the personal development of those who trust me in my office. From moments when creativity takes me over. From moments of communion with Nature: a sunset, a swim in the sea. From experiences of aesthetic perfection in the field of art and culture. From journeys that broaden the horizon of the heart and mind.